Sweet Sacrifice
by Sweetest-Sammy
Summary: Just drabble. Mainly Lucy’s thoughts while she’s in that weird cage thingy. Kind jumps around a bit between parts of the story. Teeny tiny spoilers I think, you probably won’t pick it up if you haven’t seen it though.


Summary: Just drabble. Mainly Lucy's thoughts while she's in that weird cage thingy. Kind jumps around a bit between parts of the story. Teeny tiny spoilers I think, you probably won't pick it up if you haven't seen it though. 

Disclaimer: don't own Elfen Lied, wouldn't mind living there, I don't own the lyrics or any part of the song Sweet Sacrifice by the wonderful, wonderful Evanescence either

Dedication: This story goes to a very special someone, the guy who introduced me to Elfen Lied and dubbed me Lucy for my evil tendencies –evil laugh- no, seriously guys. So thank you, you know who you are and I love you for it.

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_It's true, we're all a little insane_

It was waiting for her. Like it always was. Just a little longer, she whispered to it, just wait a little longer. It subsided back under her control, but barely. She had been telling it to wait just a little longer for years, and she wasn't sure how much longer it would listen to her.

She wondered if it was like this for everyone. Did they all have this simmering pot of insane rage somewhere buried inside them? Did all humans feel like this? Did they know how to control it? Was that what made them human?

_But it's so clear,_

_Now that I am unchained_

She could feel the metal bending under her hands, the pulse of life fading away as blood flowed from open wounds. It felt wonderful. It felt like freedom. This was what she was meant to do, where she was meant to be. Unchained, surrounded by pain and blood, this was where she belonged…

No it wasn't. Somewhere out there something called to her. She pushed the madness back, forced the hideous leering face back under its wraps.

Not yet, she told it, I don't need you yet.

_Fear is only in our minds_

_Taking over all the time_

_Fear is only in our minds _

_But it's taking over all the time_

Fear drove her anger, drove the darker side of her, but it wasn't contained there.

Fear was where everything began. Fear gave her the strength to do these terrible things to people, to kill them before they had a chance to kill her. But perhaps that wasn't what she was afraid of.

She'd been going for so long she wondered what kept her going now. She didn't dare examine this too closely. She didn't want to die, she knew that, but she didn't particularly want to live either.

She was afraid to let people close to her in case they hurt her, or, perhaps even more afraid that they wouldn't.

What if they were kind? In a way that would hurt more. They had no right to be kind; she had no right to their kindness. The only way she could justify herself was that they were wrong; they were the monsters, not her, never her. But what if she was wrong?

_You poor, sweet, innocent thing_

_Dry your eyes and testify_

No one had ever told her why she was being held here. Why they chased her and hurt her day after day.

They justified it to each other: it's her or us; we're protecting all of human kind.

But they never spoke to her, it was as if they dehumanised her she wouldn't feel pain.

That's not a girl, that's a weapon. It's like a gun. It doesn't feel pain, doesn't have emotions or a past other than how many people it's killed. It's just there to be used, it doesn't matter, not like a person at all.

_You know you live to break me,_

_Don't deny,_

_Sweet sacrifice_

They came after her. She was dimly aware of them from where she lay, trapped within her own mind. They came for her like wolves in the night, vicious and silent. But she couldn't do anything, it was like she was watching herself from the other side of the barrier behind which the scientists hid. No matter how much she screamed and forced she couldn't reach her body, couldn't reach her mind.

They tried to take her back, hold up her body to their master's like an offering to some sadistic god.

But something moved in her brain, something gave her control, however fleeting of her own body, her own mind, her own powers. And then they paid.

_One day I'm gonna forget your name_

_And one sweet day, _

_you're gonna drown in my lost pain_

That man, the director, no matter what he did he would not escape her. He had let her friend die, killing her that little bit more inside, that tiny scream swallowed up by the thousands of screams she tore from their throats before they died.

He would know how it felt, nothing was too good for him. Oneday he would know, know the bitter pain, and she would stand over his sobbing body. She wouldn't enjoy it, but she would know she had won and that was all that mattered any more.

_Fear is only in our minds_

_Taking over all the time_

She could feel it taking its toll. The fear. The fear she caused. And the fear she felt. She killed like she had nothing to lose but there was one thing left. One memory she still hung onto, the memory that drove her crazy as she hung here, knowing he was out there somewhere, but also the only one keeping her sane through the darkness.

The fear was taking over, forcing her to kill more and more as she dragged herself along the rope connecting her and him. A rope made of pain and fear and screams.

_Fear is only in our minds _

_But its taking over all the time_

It clouded her mind, drove her mad. She had to get out, had to fine him, make him understand. She killed and killed in her desperate attempt to make up for it.

_You poor sweet innocent thing_

_Dry your eyes and testify_

If she could just tell him what she'd seen it would be all right. Somehow he would make it all right. He would forgive her and everyone else would go away and they could live in their own place.

Somewhere high in the mountains, away from everyone, somewhere like the place they had met.

And everything would be all right.

_Oh you love to hate me_

_Don't you, honey?_

_I'm your sacrifice._

They needed someone like her. Someone to blame for all of this. Even when they fired their guns on the Silpelits it was her they shot. A thousand times in their minds she lived and died but never did she rest.

_I dream in darkness_

_I sleep to die _

She remembered running, much as she remembered anything these days. She had hated it. Never knowing when they would come for her. The constant fear and pain. Seeing the concern of bystanders turn to fear and repulsion at her tattered bloodstained clothes, the horns peeking through her hair.

Always at night she had dreamed, dreamed of the parents she had never known and a home that had loved her. Towards the end sleep became impossible she killed more and more, ran faster and faster, nightmares waking her in the middle of the night when she would jump up and run until she couldn't hear the screaming anymore. Always her voice as she lived her victims deaths a thousand times over, repenting in her own mind.

_Erase the silence_

_Erase my life_

She wondered sometimes if he remembered her. If he woke up screaming with dreams of blood and carnage. Did anyone remember her? Was her name known out in the world?

How many feared and loathed her?

Or was she forgotten, no only unloved but unknown. Never to be spoken of. Simply to lie quietly and forgotten in this dark prison they had created for her. To die unacknowledged and alone.

_Do you wonder why you hate?_

_Are you still too weak to survive your mistakes?_

They hated her for how she looked, for who she was and what she had become. Nothing would change that now.

If the world learned of this it would be too late. Too late to change anything, too late to live their lives with this new species. Too late to try again.

_You poor sweet innocent thing_

_Dry your eyes and testify_

_You know you live to break me- don't deny_

_Sweet sacrifice_

She was not their's to offer up to the world on a scientific platter like a piece of meat. She was not their's to dissect like some specimen.

She was a person with her own emotions and unique abilities and she was free.

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Woah, four pages, I don't think I've ever written a one shot this long before. Feel special guys and please, please, PLEASE drop me a line and review, even if it's anonymous I really don't care just tell me what you think. Just hit that little purple button and review, even if it's just one word (although the longer the better) I really really want to hear from you guys.

Sammy


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